The Cleansing Dust

Today I took an ATV tour of the Gush with my family. I have been to the Gush many times before but never had the opportunity to see the beautiful mountains and valleys from the vantage point I was offered today. It was simply breathtaking. As I sat in the front seat with dust literally blowing straight into my face, I couldn’t help but smile. Now those of you who know me, know that dirt and I are certainly not friends. In fact, I am practically made fun of for my OCD/ cleanliness behaviors. But somehow, this dirt awakened my inner senses to consider what this dirt represents to me, my family and to all of us, so I thought I would share.

The guide that was leading us, was explaining the significance of the land, the story behind it and how it was acquired. And as I thought about what he said, it truly struck a chord within me to note the stark contrast between my life and the life of those that lived before me. I was spending a leisurely afternoon with my family touring the beautiful landscape and having some fun along with it. But in order to acquire that land, there has been so much sacrifice. Much blood, sweat, tears, and pain, were spilled because there were people- our former brothers and sisters, who felt it was necessary for us to have this land. It was they who worked so tirelessly to settle and to build and to plant only to have it taken from them in the most horrific way- through destruction, and torture and death. Yet that did not deter our brothers and sisters. Through the pain and suffering, they once again, chose to reacquire the land as soon as they were able, and to once again settle, and rebuild. And today, as I surveyed its beauty, I know this land is blessed. I know that it is beautiful. And through the dust, I see who walked here in these steps before me- the sacrifices they made, the courage they had, the will and desire to claim what was ours, the history that belongs to us, and the dust cleared my eyes and penetrated my soul. It strengthened my connection to our past and tied me to our nation and our future.

This land has a story wherever you go. From city to city, from mountain to valley, from the trees to the plants, from the street names to the roads, from the streams and rivers, the holy sites and graves, there is a story which begins with our roots, our history, and a promise that was made to our ancestors so many years ago.

Hashem told Avraham: לך לך מארצך- Go out from your land. Follow me and I will show you where you belong. I will make you into a great nation and fill your new land with so many people you won’t even be able to count them. I will make you great. Moshe, who led us out from our first galut and true oppression and pain, wanted nothing more than to see this land. Yet he could never get the chance to settle in it and experience its true beauty. How many generations of our brothers and sisters fought for our land? Died for our land? Longed for our land to be returned to us?

The dust hit me again. Avraham walked here. His dreams began here. We are a fulfillment of his dreams. And then a question arose in my heart? Are we making him proud? Are we doing what we can as his grandchildren to show Hashem that we are deserving of the final redemption? Are we serving Hashem the way we should? Have we forgotten our purpose? Our reason for living? Have we forgotten our goals and our dreams?

This trip allowed me the privilege to be here for both tisha b’av and Shabbos Nachamu. It allowed me the chance to sit at the kotel both times and see what is missing in our lives, to feel the longing and the yearning. On tisha b’av, we mourn the destruction of our temple, and all the tragedies that have befallen our people generation after generation. And then we yearn. We yearn for the day that this will end. When we can once again come together and feel true happiness. Shabbos Nachamu reminds us that Hashem is still there. He will continue to comfort us, to reassure us that he has not abandoned us, and even through our pain and suffering, He is there to redeem us. But we need to be deserving of that. We need to yearn for change. We need to show Hashem that our current lives are not making us whole. There is too much pain and suffering and we are not able to fully live the way we are meant to. Whether we live in Israel, the US, Europe or Canada, South Africa or Australia, we are not fully whole. We are not a complete nation. We are still in limbo and we need to get out. We need Hashem to take us out. We need Mashiach. It is time.

Perhaps, if each one of us can dig a little deeper into our buried souls, to discover how we can improve, we can show Hashem that we are worthy. We are almost there. And as Rosh Chodesh Elul is approaching, there is no better time. To return to Hashem and cleanse our souls. To dig deep and to yearn for more.

I may have washed the dust off my face and my body today. But that dust has penetrated my soul and awakened me as a reminder. And I realized that I definitely have some more cleaning to do.